My wife’s best friend moved to Kentucky a number of years ago because she married a guy from back there. We lamented that they were so far away because they were fun to hang out with and because of the distance we rarely saw them.
Then they moved back out to the great state of Utah and now we lament that they live so far away in the tiny town of Tremonton (30 mins away) and we never see them.
Right now we are coordinating with them to see if we can hang out on Friday night because it really is pretty lame that we live 30 minutes away and don’t see each other anymore than when they lived all the way across the country.
There are a myriad of reasons we don’t see each other anymore often than we do, but I put the primary blame on the fact that their children are the spawn of Satan. More specifically, they have triplets and the two boys in the triplet gang are mostly assuredly evil. (They are very cute and funny which makes the evil that much more sinister).
Because of this fact, I plan to never ever let my son play with their boys lest he yield to temptation and fall to the dark side.
I know what you are thinking – they are only two years old how could you be so cruel. They are cute, adorable, innocent little children. Ever see gremlins?
Through great sacrifice, our friends just built a brand new house. It is likely this is the home they will stay in the rest of their lives. Some kids draw on the walls with crayon and some kids take off their diapers. It took a diabolical mind to combine the two and learn to draw on the walls with poop. We loaned our good friends some toddler beds so that they could use them for their children. After finding the beds upside down and in various places throughout the room our friends asked if they could nail the beds to the baseboards (they really did it).
In an act of true evil genius for a pair of boys of only two they figured out how to open their bedroom window. Not wanting them to get hurt our good friends put a rod in the window to prevent it from opening. It only took an hour or so before they figured out how to remove that. Then it was on to duct tape. I love duct tape. I was helped with a surgery in the great outdoors that ended with the use of duct tape to ensure the patient’s open wound stayed sealed shut perfectly protected by duct tape. It is an old trusty companion. You can fix anything and do anything with duct tape. These demon geniuses figured out how to defeat the greatest binding agent on earth and even the duct tape couldn’t ensure the window would stay shut.
One day said friend put her boys down for a nap. A little while later the doorbell rang. Said friend sent her older daughter 6 years old to answer the front door. In front of her stood the two two year old boys. After defeating the duct tape they threw open the window, hurled a mattress out and then jumped the 8 feet down. After that they rang the front door. I think we should all be glad they didn’t try to hitch a ride to Las Vegas.
So no, my son will not ever play with the spawn of Satan.